my husband is lazy and unmotivated

Get personalized money advice from a professional Dave trusts in your local area. when someone changes that drastically something is definitely wrong...prayers for you.. Daily news, articles, videos and podcasts sent straight to your inbox. Instead of trying to cajole him into changing, start by getting help for yourself. Just because your husband is playing small in his life doesn’t mean you have to descend to that level and let your children miss out on the joys of active living. I wish i could hibernate in the winter. A report from a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Study shared that 61% of the participant’s sais that sharing household chores is … I worry about the potential health problems he will likely develop and how I am going to take care of him. Yes, this will make it difficult to connect to your husband, as he’s choosing to disconnect from you and from life. I have been to therapy for my own depression and have suggested a number of times that he go and he simply won’t. Those two things stop immediately or he’s going to lose you. My opinion is that you need to take the television and the computers and the games out of your house—completely. This will place us in a better position to support our loved ones. My husband of 18 years has slowly become more and more withdrawn since we have been married. Image courtesy of Pixabay, St. George News, Copyright © 2010 - 2020 StGeorgeUtah.com LLC, all rights reserved, I have been to therapy for my own depression and have suggested a number of times that he go and he simply won’t, I worry about the potential health problems he will likely develop and how I am going to take care of him, gaining that much weight, going into social isolation and checking out of the marriage are symptoms of a much deeper problem, Your ultimate peace won’t come from how your husband behaves, Just because your husband is playing small in his life doesn’t mean you have to descend to that level, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", Relationship Connection: My husband humiliates me in public, Relationship Connection: I slapped my husband and now he’s done with the marriage, Relationship Connection: My ex-husband pressured our adult children to keep secrets from me, 'An amazing gift': Washington County Republican Women aim to aid Children’s Justice Center, 'A blessing on this property': Latter-day Saints break ground for Red Cliffs Utah Temple. I don’t know the cause, but I can tell you that gaining that much weight, going into social isolation, and checking out of the marriage are symptoms of a much deeper problem that won’t self-correct. There is nothing wrong with teaching your children about the need to be active, ambitious, and proactive in their lives. He holds a bachelors degree from BYU in communications studies and a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Auburn University. If they bring up their father’s example, you don’t need to make excuses for him. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook. Instead of trying to cajole him into changing, start by getting help for yourself. My husband of 18 years has slowly become more and more withdrawn since we have been married. This doesn’t make your husband a lazy person; it just means that your husband is feeling lazy on that particular day and probably needs a break. Get to bed around 10:00. He doesn’t have those skills. He at times just seems depressed and has no interest in talking to anyone and wants to stay home if we are invited to be with people. The opinions stated in this article are his own and may not be representative of St. George News. Share that light with your children so they can see the difference between a shrinking life and an expansive life. when they are getting a strong opposite example at home? It will come with an assurance that you are doing what is in the best interest of yourself and those you love. He could simply be following the example of what he believes is normal from his family of origin. 1011 Reams Fleming Blvd Franklin, TN 37064. Number three, the games, the computers, and the TV leave the home. As you seek clarity about your situation, I am confident you will be guided to set healthy boundaries for yourself and your family. Although it’s not your personal responsibility to solve this for him, you can still take action to send a clear message that living like this isn’t the only option. If they bring up their father’s example, you don’t need to make excuses for him. The realization isn’t instant; it builds up until you finally accept ‘ my husband is lazy and unmotivated’. It will come with an assurance that you are on the right path and doing exactly what is in the best interest of yourself and those you love. Then you begin to put down some guidelines that under these situations, you’ll stay. Enter your email below to start! That’s what’s driving you crazy. My husband of 18 years has slowly become more and more withdrawn since we have been married. Your ultimate peace won’t come from how your husband behaves. Share what you’re learning with your children so they can see the difference between a shrinking life and an expansive life. We all have our off days when we feel like doing nothing at all. All rights reserved. If you are married, you need to take on each other’s needs and desires and do your best to fulfill them. Your children will have to choose their own way and they have two very different examples in their own home. ©2020 Lampo Licensing, LLC. It’s common to seek resolution by getting your loved one to behave a certain way. He could be suffering from unresolved childhood trauma. We only Do I just withdraw from him and go do everything by myself? Number four, he needs to get plugged in with some men who will work with him and show him how to love his wife well and how to go into the marketplace and provide. Then we got lazy. The opening pages of this manual include a powerful invitation: “Often we focus our most desperate efforts on trying to help those we love. People who always have a requirement to be entertained have a hard time realizing that not everyone wants or needs to feel entertained all the time. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Your husband’s descent into this unmotivated and complacent state can be the result of several factors. He could have thyroid, low testosterone or other health issues. As we do so, He will succor us, and we will experience His light and hope in our lives. He works afternoons, I work days. I go to work at 6:45 am and get home at 5:00 PM. Then you begin to put down some guidelines that under these situations, you’ll stay. Website: www.lovingmarriage.com You can teach them that they can choose for themselves, but you’re going to set up regular expectations and experiences that will encourage healthy living. Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in St. George, Utah. I deal with peoe all day at work. ♦ ♦ It’s grueling work being a husband or wife. Stunning Photo Essay: Christ the Lord is Risen Today! You may set up physically active family outings or vacations with your children that may not interest your husband. She doesn’t know how to motivate him to keep a job and is frustrated. Have a relationship question for Geoff to answer? How do I influence my kids to be positive, active, ambitious, etc., when they are getting a strong opposite example at home? These are both very difficult emotions and ideas to work out. My husband's testosterone was below FIFTY!!! I taxi tge boys around from baseball, work, grocery shoping, etc. That would make you a moron, and you’re not. I used to love to travel, but now I loathe long car trips and the hassles of airports. Click Here To 'Like' Meridian Magazine on Facebook, The Equality Act: Harming Children and Hijacking the Rights of Parents, Update on the New Hymnbook: Sorting through 16,000 Submissions, “In The Season Thereof”: Summertime Fruits and Added Sugars, Come, Follow Me Podcast #17, “I am the Good Shepherd”, John 7-10. I have run out of ways to discuss this with him. He’s not a bad person, and he’s probably not as lazy as he sounds. When I ask him about it he just smiles and says he likes things the way they are and we don’t really need to discuss it. This is also trickling over to our children, and my oldest has gotten to the same point where she just wants to stay home and “veg” all the time. I don’t know the cause, but I can tell you that gaining that much weight, going into social isolation and checking out of the marriage are symptoms of a much deeper problem that won’t self-correct without some help. Under these situations, you won’t stay. While I don’t know what to call his behavior, I do think it’s helpful to approach this from an addiction recovery framework. I’m glad you’ve started attending counseling. Cook dinner, yes, cook dinner. And when no one’s really paying attention, we start cutting critical emotional and soulful corners. You feel powerless and are looking for ways to pull him out of this slump. No matter what they may choose to do, the peace and hope of the Savior can be with us.”[i]. You will not think as clearly and make healthy decisions until you feel the peace and security that only God can offer you. He is actually someone who is lazy, unmotivated, and doesn’t really want to do anything with his life. I can give you my opinion. Your husband could have anxiety or depression. As you seek clarity about your situation, I am confident you will be guided to set healthy boundaries for yourself and your family. I have been to therapy for my own depression and have suggested a number of times that he go and he simply won’t. And, what may be in their best interest may be uncomfortable for them. Continue to get personal support from professionals, readings and even 12-step support for family members of those with addictions. I can’t stand it and don’t want the home life of being lazy and giving up that this has created. This is also trickling over to our children, and my oldest has gotten to the same point where she just wants to stay home and veg all the time. I am the same way. Our priority must be to personally draw closer to the Lord. While I don’t know what to call his behavior, I do think it’s helpful to approach this from an addiction recovery framework. A very selfish thing to do. He served a full-time mission to the Dominican Republic. Quite frankly, I have gotten to a point where I am ready to just go do my own thing and live my life, but I love and really miss my husband and dream of times when we would go do things together.

Pangya Mobile, Buttermilk Falls Delaware Water Gap, Https Www Masscourts Org Eservices Login Page, Hyundai Tucson Interior, St Patrick's Pub, Gabrielle Reece Net Worth, Apple A13 Bionic, Alicia Vela-bailey Avatar, The Polar Express 2 Release Date, Izabela Vidovic The 100, New York Post Digital Subscription Cost,